PBI XIV: The In-Between Bowl (Blue 28 - Gold 6)
Game Summary
PBI XIV, which Blue won handily 28-6, had all the exhilaration and suspense of a senior Shochet at Shalom’s quartering cow tongue for the daily sandwich special. The slaughterhouse was JDS' Upper School athletic field, and the butcher was the Blue team, whose proficient dismemberment of the Gold squad had a certain asthetic charm that pigskin fans on every level can appreciate, from our mothers who unfathomably still don’t comprehend the game’s rules even after all those years watching us in Pop-Warner, to the nerdiest of purists who can appreciate the intricate science of football. Sure, PBI XIV lacked some excitement due to the lopsided score, and there was no dramatic game ending finish of the last three contests (they can’t all be nail biters). Yet the annual Thanksgiving classic again delivered all the amazing qualities that have truly made it a one of a kind event, leaving players and fans alike already looking forward to next year.
PBI XIV, which Blue won handily 28-6, had all the exhilaration and suspense of a senior Shochet at Shalom’s quartering cow tongue for the daily sandwich special. The slaughterhouse was JDS' Upper School athletic field, and the butcher was the Blue team, whose proficient dismemberment of the Gold squad had a certain asthetic charm that pigskin fans on every level can appreciate, from our mothers who unfathomably still don’t comprehend the game’s rules even after all those years watching us in Pop-Warner, to the nerdiest of purists who can appreciate the intricate science of football. Sure, PBI XIV lacked some excitement due to the lopsided score, and there was no dramatic game ending finish of the last three contests (they can’t all be nail biters). Yet the annual Thanksgiving classic again delivered all the amazing qualities that have truly made it a one of a kind event, leaving players and fans alike already looking forward to next year.
Tale of the Tape
Heading into the contest the Blue team’s captains, Dan Fulop (’99) and Noah Zimmerman (’99), looked to exploit the Gold team’s lack of size on both sides of the ball by dictating the tempo of the game to be a slug-it-out affair rather than a sprinting contest. Although Zimmerman entered the game with a well-publicized thumb injury on his throwing hand, an injury he claimed occurred on the volleyball court and not during his special alone time, Blue’s offensive strategy did not rely on the pass but instead called for an emphasis on the run. The two anticipated that Gold’s defensive coordinator, Ariel Oxman, would employ his signature defensive formation, the 2-3-6 alignment, which consists of six defensive backs, three linebackers, and only two down linemen. While hard to throw against, this defense plays pass all the way, making it fairly soft against the run.
Defensively, Blue's goal was to neutralize the Gold attack with a 3-3-5 alignment, comprised of five defensive backs, three linebackers, and three down linemen. The cat-quick but big defensive lineman were to clog the middle and stifle the inside running, and apply a fierce pass rush to force Gold’s young quarterbacks to throw too soon. The three linebackers were assigned to contain the edges, responsible for cutting off the vaunted outside running game and running down scrambling quarterbacks. Meanwhile the defensive backs were asked to cover Gold’s receivers tightly, swarm to the ball and prevent the big play.
Defensively, Blue's goal was to neutralize the Gold attack with a 3-3-5 alignment, comprised of five defensive backs, three linebackers, and three down linemen. The cat-quick but big defensive lineman were to clog the middle and stifle the inside running, and apply a fierce pass rush to force Gold’s young quarterbacks to throw too soon. The three linebackers were assigned to contain the edges, responsible for cutting off the vaunted outside running game and running down scrambling quarterbacks. Meanwhile the defensive backs were asked to cover Gold’s receivers tightly, swarm to the ball and prevent the big play.
Whereas the Blue roster was big and physical, the Gold squad was small and fast. Offensively, Gold devised a game plan to capitalize on their team’s speed by getting the ball into the hands of their quick players in the open-field. At times Gold planned to feature a hurry-up, no-huddle combination to move the ball very quickly, and prevent the Blue defense from properly reading formations, making substitutions, or even catching their breath. On the defensive side of the ball Gold would indeed run the 2-3-6 alignment. Developed by Oxman prior to PBI XI in 2008, the formation is designed to crowd the passing lanes and leave little room for the receivers to find openings by dropping nine defenders into coverage, while the two down linemen and three linebackers are tasked with containing the outside running lanes and defending against short passes instead of pressuring the quarterback.
Recap
Gold won the coin toss and elected to receive the ball. Up until PBI X, game officials conducted the pre-game coin toss with each team’s respective captain, however, in the last few years a series of celebratory coin flippers have been appointed. For the ceremonial coin toss in PBI XIV, Paul Blank selected everyone’s favorite local derelict, Daniel “Izzy” Horowitz as one of two honorary captains. The other honor went to none other than…Paul Blank. That’s right, Paul Blank selected himself. I guess having an entire football game named after you just isn’t enough.
The suspense in the game lasted for six minutes and 19 seconds, the short amount of time it took for Gold to go 3-and-out and Blue to march easily down the field to score. Starting with great field position resulting from a poor punt which defensive back/linebacker Ben Hamburger returned 15 yards, Blue’s offense launched their opening salvo already at the Gold 20-yard line. Using their powerful running game, Blue muscled its way down the field, with quarterback Elliot Totah (’98) accounting for the bulk of the yardage. Totah only attempted one pass on the drive, a 7 yard swing pass to running back Yossi May (’02) that advanced the ball to the Gold 6-yard line. On first and goal Totah forsook power for finesse, sprinting to score on a bootleg run to the outside after freezing Gold’s linebackers with a fake inside handoff. It was both a clever call and a cleanly performed play. It was archetypical of how for the rest of the day Blue executed their appointed tasks—and their opponents—throughout the warm, sunny morning. The extra point kick attempt failed due to a poor snap from center Dan Fulop (’99), an inexcusable mistake even for someone who spent his lower school years attending “resource” with the other special kids. Despite the gaffe on such a routine play, Blue had an early 6-0 lead and the early momentum.
The suspense in the game lasted for six minutes and 19 seconds, the short amount of time it took for Gold to go 3-and-out and Blue to march easily down the field to score. Starting with great field position resulting from a poor punt which defensive back/linebacker Ben Hamburger returned 15 yards, Blue’s offense launched their opening salvo already at the Gold 20-yard line. Using their powerful running game, Blue muscled its way down the field, with quarterback Elliot Totah (’98) accounting for the bulk of the yardage. Totah only attempted one pass on the drive, a 7 yard swing pass to running back Yossi May (’02) that advanced the ball to the Gold 6-yard line. On first and goal Totah forsook power for finesse, sprinting to score on a bootleg run to the outside after freezing Gold’s linebackers with a fake inside handoff. It was both a clever call and a cleanly performed play. It was archetypical of how for the rest of the day Blue executed their appointed tasks—and their opponents—throughout the warm, sunny morning. The extra point kick attempt failed due to a poor snap from center Dan Fulop (’99), an inexcusable mistake even for someone who spent his lower school years attending “resource” with the other special kids. Despite the gaffe on such a routine play, Blue had an early 6-0 lead and the early momentum.
When Gold took over following the Blue touchdown, they ran three ineffectual plays, had to punt and Blue sliced them up again. Most of the drive was predicated on the ability of the Blue offensive line to out-muscle the Gold defenders, especially the linebackers, who were mowed over by an assortment of physical blockers. Blue’s intense style of play was not reserved to the lineman, but also the ball carriers who played with a reckless abandon that helped establish the tone early on. This was demonstrated perfectly on a 3rd down conversion play that saw Aaron Schooler (’06) pick up 10 yards on a sweep. Following the game, Schooler recalled how the play unfolded, noting that even respect for the pious takes a back seat when PBI glory is on the line. “I laid a hard shoulder to my dear friend, Rabbi Leener's chest when he stood between me and the first down. I knocked the poor Rabbi to the ground, and moved the chains.” Zimmerman capped the drive with a 4-yard touchdown run. May’s extra point kick made the score 13-0 in favor of Blue.
For the rest of the half Blue continued to play superb defense, keeping Gold from mounting a single viable drive on offense. It's not that the Gold offense was losing the game by committing costly turnovers; it's that the unit didn't do anything to win it, either turning the ball over on downs or being forced to punt on all of their possessions. Gold fared no better on defense, as their front two defensive linemen, especially David Ochs (’02) who had been counted on as the team’s bastion against the run, had barely nibbled at the Blue running backs and rarely pressured the quarterback. When Blue did pass their quarterbacks had plenty of time to throw or scramble up the middle for swaths of yardage. Even after the early stages when Blue was having easy success running the ball, Ariel stubbornly stuck to his defensive alignment.
In contrast, Blue continued to move the ball at will against the Gold defense, scoring twice more before halftime for a total of 22 unanswered points on their first four drives of the game. The scores came on a 25-yard field goal by David May (’04), and a pass from Zimmerman which May caught over the outstretched arms of the defensive back for a 20-yard touchdown reception. Another poor snap on the extra point kick, this time from Chinese herbalist Yaron Cohen (’99) gave Blue a 22-0 lead going into halftime.
In contrast, Blue continued to move the ball at will against the Gold defense, scoring twice more before halftime for a total of 22 unanswered points on their first four drives of the game. The scores came on a 25-yard field goal by David May (’04), and a pass from Zimmerman which May caught over the outstretched arms of the defensive back for a 20-yard touchdown reception. Another poor snap on the extra point kick, this time from Chinese herbalist Yaron Cohen (’99) gave Blue a 22-0 lead going into halftime.
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The situation never got much better for Gold in the second half as starting quarterback Ilan Fulop (’02) gave way to a trio of younger passers in the hopes of giving the offense some life. The insertion of Jon Leener (’06) and Jared Sichel (’08) added a different dimension to the Gold attack because of their scrambling ability. On their first possession of the second half Gold’s offense got just the spark it needed as Jared Sichel connected with wide receiver Ezra Weisel (’08) for a 30-yard completion, but the crucial big gain was nullified by an offensive pass interference penalty on Weisel. Gold was forced to punt the ball away, and perhaps, killing their momentum and squandering a great opportunity to get back into the game.
Yet on Gold quickly regained some momentum several plays later when cornerback Michael Feldman (’06) intercepted a pass by Zimmerman in the end zone. This time Gold’s offense finally showed some consistency and generated a scoring drive. Sichel and Leener picked up good yardage on the ground and completed passes to I. Fulop and David Fox (’06). Gold finally got on the scoreboard on a bizarre, rugby style option toss from Sichel to Weisel for a two-yard option pass. For their part in the goofy play, Sichel and Weisel were awarded the first ever Oxman Family Most Foreign Play trophy after the game. Although the 2-point conversion attempt failed, Gold had cut their deficit to 22-6 with nearly 12 minutes to play.
Yet on Gold quickly regained some momentum several plays later when cornerback Michael Feldman (’06) intercepted a pass by Zimmerman in the end zone. This time Gold’s offense finally showed some consistency and generated a scoring drive. Sichel and Leener picked up good yardage on the ground and completed passes to I. Fulop and David Fox (’06). Gold finally got on the scoreboard on a bizarre, rugby style option toss from Sichel to Weisel for a two-yard option pass. For their part in the goofy play, Sichel and Weisel were awarded the first ever Oxman Family Most Foreign Play trophy after the game. Although the 2-point conversion attempt failed, Gold had cut their deficit to 22-6 with nearly 12 minutes to play.
Blue responded with a long, time consuming drive, marching from deep in their own territory to the Gold 20-yard line. Time was beginning to be a factor for Gold who still needed two touchdowns and two 2-point conversions just to tie the game; however, they couldn’t muster the much needed defensive stand. Within a few plays Blue was at the Gold 15-yard line and looked primed to put the game away with another score. On 2nd down and short, Blue quarterback Totah faked an inside handoff to the left and ran to the right behind tackle Zimmerman and tight end Fulop, scampering through a gaping hole in the Gold line for an apparent 15 yard touchdown run. But Fulop was assessed with a rare holding penalty on defensive end David Ochs, wiping away the TD and instead giving Blue a long 3rd down and 14. Replays would later confirm that Fulop had not held Ochs, but rather the reincarnation of Lenny from Of Mice and Men had tripped over his own feet. Blue came up empty after a sack by Michael Feldman (’06) and a delay of game penalty stalled the drive, and Kicker David May missed a 20-yard field goal attempt.
For the remainder of the contest, both teams were stymied by each other’s defenses. While Blue reeled in their offensive attack by going conservative with their play calling, Gold tried to make a comeback behind a three headed quarterback, rotating between Leener, Sichel, and Weisel. But no matter who lined up under center, they rarely had time to look downfield as Blue’s defense harassed them mercilessly, consistently forcing them to hurry their throws. While Blue’s front three chased the Gold QBs all over the field, the linebackers played text book containment, preventing the little scramblers from becoming a running threat.
As time began to wind down and the final minutes of the game approached, the outcome having been decided, one storyline remained in PBI XIV. Would Paul Blank get in for his token play? Sure, the old man had just ran the Marine Corps Marathon, but Ilan can run 2 marathons and still sit with his legs crossed in the time it took Paul to finish. But Paul Blank surprised the defense, the crowd, and his own team with a 12 yard run up the middle, proving that this Thanksgiving charity football game is not named after him just because 14 years ago, alone on the holiday, he sent out some invitations (made on Microsoft Word ’95 with the most basic and crappy clipart). The crowd went wild and gave Paul a standing ovation on his way back to the sidelines to flirt with JDS moms.
As time began to wind down and the final minutes of the game approached, the outcome having been decided, one storyline remained in PBI XIV. Would Paul Blank get in for his token play? Sure, the old man had just ran the Marine Corps Marathon, but Ilan can run 2 marathons and still sit with his legs crossed in the time it took Paul to finish. But Paul Blank surprised the defense, the crowd, and his own team with a 12 yard run up the middle, proving that this Thanksgiving charity football game is not named after him just because 14 years ago, alone on the holiday, he sent out some invitations (made on Microsoft Word ’95 with the most basic and crappy clipart). The crowd went wild and gave Paul a standing ovation on his way back to the sidelines to flirt with JDS moms.
With the remaining seconds ticking away, the Blue defense put an exclamation point on their dominant performance and concluded PBI XIV in dramatic fashion. On the last play of the game all three of Blue’s defensive lineman converged on Gold quarterback Ezra Weisel, and the hurried pass was intercepted by cornerback Yossi May (’06) and returned all the way to the end zone as time expired.
Final score: Blue 28, Gold 6. Let the trash talking for PBI XV begin.
